Brothers are abroad, only in memory of Bhai Tika: Sisters
Pramila Karki
Kathmandu. For the last 20 years, journalist Sahnashila Sharma has been left empty-handed as she has not been able to get tika on the day of Bhai Tika. It has been 20 years since one of the four sisters has been living in London, UK. Since then, Sahanshila’s sisters have not been able to meet her brother in person on the day of Bhai Tika.
Sahansila, the executive director of the media house, waits for her brother every year on Bhai Tihar, but she has no other option but to feel sad when she does not get her brother in front of her. Every year Tihar comes, the market is full of garlands and tika, but for the tolerant, it is limited to old memories of Bhai Tika.
Four sisters and one brother are all in different countries. “Even though distance has made them far away, the intimacy of Bhai Tika has not diminished,” she says.
On the day of Bhai Tika, they talk on the phone and video call. Sisters send gifts to their brothers, while brothers also send gifts. But Saheshita feels that the happiness of the face seen on the phone and the happiness of sitting together in person is not the same.
Apart from their brothers, there is no tradition of giving tika to the sons of uncles or elder grandfathers in their family. She says that since everyone has their own sisters, they do not give tika to others.
Those moments where four sisters come together to give tika to their brother, tease and joke are very dear to him. She is still immersed in the memory of the past when she remembers her brother teasing her sisters while giving them dakshina.
Not only the tolerant sisters, but many other Nepali sisters also have the same plight.
Pramila Basnet’s brother has also been abroad for two years. This year, she is planning to celebrate Tihar at home normally. She has not been able to get vaccinated since her brother went abroad. Pramila, who says that she does not give tika to anyone other than her brother, is waiting to celebrate Tihar especially after her brother’s return.
‘I feel a little nervous when my brother is not with me. When you have a brother, the atmosphere of Tihar is different. When you don’t have a brother, you don’t feel like Tihar has come. I feel like there is no Tihar,” she says.
Sharing her experience of remembering her brother more than before, she says that the time of sitting together with her brother, having fun, and exchanging gifts is now limited to memories.
For Ratna Rayamajhi, this year’s Tihar is marked by the memory of her brother. One of her four brothers passed away recently. The other three are also in different places.
Ratna, who says that all her brothers are in different places, is not as happy as in the past this Tihar.
‘My brother has just passed away. We are in mourning. So this year’s Tihar is not so good,’ she says.
Since childhood, Tihar has been considered as a special day from the point of view of the sweet relationship between brothers and sisters. She feels that while remembering the happiness of celebrating the day of Bhai Tika with the family, this time Tihar has become dull due to the absence of her brother.
Similarly, for Sushila Khadka, who is active in social work, this Tihar is not as encouraging as in the past. Her brother is in Australia. It has been two years since her brother was not vaccinated. According to him, the distance from his distant family and brother has also added some emptiness to the joy of Tihar.
In the past, the Tihar celebrated with the family and the fun moments of her childhood are still fresh in her memory. She gets emotional when she remembers those days spent with her brother. She says that she does not feel the same family gathering and intimacy as before.
‘When Tihar comes, many old memories come back. It has never been as fun as it was when I was a child. Everything changes with time,” she says. For Sushila, who has not been able to apply a seven-coloured tika on her brother’s forehead for two years, Tihar has now become more about memories and emotions than celebrations.
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